Friday, December 30, 2011

Waste Not, Want Not...Or Not

I am quickly learning and firmly believing that nothing is ever wasted. I recently found myself saying something along the lines of 'I don't want to waste my time with something fruitless." And then, in another strange flashback, I was taken back to my geology class and my teacher said "Every drop of water on this Earth will always be on this Earth. It is recycled and reused and pushed under ground and evaporated into the air but it is never wasted." Or something to that affect and it hit me, nothing is wasted. The last year and half with the ex wasn't wasted time, or wasted love, or wasted anything. From that time, I learned and I grew and I became better. I didn't waste love on someone who just took it without a thought of sharing any with me. (Which is how I felt for a long time. Why love him when he isn't giving me any love. Which seems an immature thought but think about it, how many times do you not do something, some random act of love and kindness because you think it won't come back to you or that it will be unappreciated or unnoticed? We all do that.) It (meaning love given out) may not be used in the way that you intended it and you may not even see that love being used and felt, but that doesn't mean the Love isn't being used or felt. Time spent on doing silly things, making mistakes, or just being a dumby is not a waste. It's all part of the journey and what you put out will improve someones life. You may not realize it at the time, but in the end, it will improve your life as well. How freeing is that, to feel and realize that nothing is lost or wasted? For me, it makes following my heart more do able. My brain has a bad habit of saying "Hey that act of joy is wasting our time getting down to business". I think I'm just going to ignore that killjoy of a brain from now on.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Tidings of Comfort and Joy

I love Christmas time. Mostly because I love the music. My favorite Christmas song varies from year to year and this year it's "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen." I think about the lyrics and feel a sense of peace and gratitude. My favorite lines are those concerning our Savior coming to free us from Satan's power and might. I feel free, and I feel alive, and I feel so submersed in God's love that Love is the only thing that seems to flow out of me lately.

I was contemplating the direction my life has taken since leaving my parent's home and venturing on my own and my thought was, what did I ask for from my Father that lead me to the lessons and experiences that I have since experienced? And I remembered of a time when I asked to learn to love like He loves.

I have a long way to go still. But I know that any of the pain that I ever felt and ever will feel is so that I will know how to comfort and love those that feel pain. Just as the joy I have ever and will ever feel is so I know how to celebrate with those who rejoice.

Our experiences aren't so different that we can't understand each other's lives. We aren't meant to pretend that everything is ok. If we are hurting, it's ok to reach out and ask for comfort. We've all experienced pain and loss. It doesn't mean you're weak or crazy for feeling things and for feeling things deeply.

We're never alone. And that is a huge tiding of comfort and joy.

Monday, December 5, 2011

I Must Go, The World is Calling

I have been bitten by the travel bug. I can't help it. The list of places I want to go is getting longer and longer. I feel as though I am coming out of my skin. At the top of my list? The northern lights. Alaska and all of it's cold is calling me. Dear Lord, please open up the path for me to see Your wondrous creations. And do it soon. Please.