Saturday, May 29, 2010

So Hungry

It's Saturday morning, I'm tired, I don't feel well, and I am incredibly hungry. Laying here, I came up with the brilliant idea of Googling "What to eat for breakfast". I don't know what I was expecting but I was hoping for a long list of things to eat for breakfast. Instead I got a long list of websites telling me how important it is to eat breakfast. I now realize that what I want from Google is for them to send me a handsome man with french toast and eggs to my bedroom. Not asking for the moon.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

MY Brain is a Mushy Grape Popsicle

Ok, it is official. I have lost my brain. I suffer from what I like to call "Toomuchsunitis" pronounced (too much sun it is). Meaning too much sun is the problem. In the last 3 hours I have, hit my head on a toilet, stuck my hand into a moving ceiling fan, tripped down the stairs, tripped going up the stairs, and spilled hot tea on me while trying to drink it in bed. Why on Earth would I try to drink tea while laying down?!?! There are no other explanations for it. I must be that I spend too much time in the sun. (Ha when I first wrote that, I accidentally put sin. I spend too much time in the sin, which may also be part of the problem). Summer brain. I have turned my brain into a summer brain. I am actually quite pleased with this. Why? Because usually it takes me clear till June to get summer brain. And it's only the middle of May!! Hooray for summer.

Monday, May 17, 2010

I Can't Live Without You!!!

There are a few things that I can't live without. They are as follows:
Sugar. I have tried to cut back the amount of sugar I intake and it just hate it. I love the amount of sugar I can stand and it tastes so delicious. Why should I not eat so much of it? It doesn't even make sense.
Also I can not live without sunshine. I am that person that goes crazy during a week of rain. I cry. I get mad. I throw things. And then the sun is back and I giggle for a week straight.
Lotion. I am OCD about putting lotion on. I have to have it in the morning, at night, after showers, during swimming, and after every time I wash my hands. I MUST have it or my skin hurts and feels like it is going to die.
And flirting. If I don't bat my eyes at some cute boy at least once a day, I just feel like I could fall to pieces. It's fun and funny and makes me giggle inside. Whenever I feel like I haven't had my flirt fix for a while, I go to the mall. Why? Well because Zumiez has these 2 boys that work there and they always flirt with me. They flirt with everyone I know and that's fine. I just like, no love, that I can go there anytime to get my flirt on. And I don't even have to look cute cause it's Zumiez. So I can walk in there with pj's on and uncombed hair and all I have to do it use words like "dude" and "gnarly". I love to flirt.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Oh Alex

Alex is sometimes a very sweet boy and he has funny ways. This morning he says "I want a pb and j for breakfast" I say "ok go ahead and make one" Alex says "ok I will."
A few minutes later Alex says "Where's the pb and where's the j." "Well the j is usually in the fridge and the pb is in the pantry." "Oh ok, I get it."
After a few minutes he says "I still can't find the pb!!" "It's on the third shelf" "Oooh I didn't know that." "Sorry I thought you would see it." And then he says "No no Shauntae, it's ok. It's ok. I have it now, everything will be alright and I get to hae pb and j for breakfast." Six year olds are funny.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Either Way

Some one told me that the last story I told is not true. That it's sort of like an urban legend. I am choosing to believe that it is true. It's a hilarious story. And either way, true or not, it made me laugh till I almost peed.

Friday, May 14, 2010

A Troll?? Where? What?

Tonight I went to see a comedian, a comedian called Brian Regan. He was funny, very funny. My body hurts from laughing so much kind of funny. But something even more funny than that is this story I am about to tell you. Now it is a story that comes from a friend of a friend. This friend of a friend of a friend of a friend has an autistic son. This son, from what I understand, is about 16 years old. The son calls his mother at work "Mom I caught a troll. It's in my closet." Mom says "Oh ok that's great. I'm really busy, I'll call you later" Mom hangs up and thinks nothing of it. Son calls mom back a few minutes later "Mom I caught a troll. It's in my closet. I'm feeding it skittles" Mom hangs up again and starts to wonder. Son calls again and Mom decides to go home. She walks into Son's room and there is a chair propped against the closet door, with a bag of skittles on the floor. And some thing is banging on the inside of the door. The mom moves the chair and opens the door to find A MIDGET!!! The son had locked a Jehovah Witness midget missionary in the closet. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I need to meet this boy.

Oh Hello

Hello, I feel like it's been a long time since we've talked. I'm doing great, thank you. And yourself? Oh great. Well my crush sort of gave me a little broken heart so that sucks but I have been productive in a real major way. I mowed the lawn, mopped the floors, did the laundry, read a book, and a made an appointment to have my hair trimmed. I am pretty excited about that last part cause this mullet is OUT OF CONTROL. Let's see what else. I enjoyed the State GOP convention, and watched Bob
Bennett be released with a vote of thanks. Well that part is not true, many of the delegates started singing "nah nah nah nah hey hey hey goodbye" you know. Also I am getting excited for Tennessee and I started this supplement thing that is really clearing me out. Even through my face, I have zits that belong in an art gallery. I'm going to see Brian Regan tonight, this I feel happy about cause I love to laugh. I love to laugh, loud and strong and clear. Also I still love Daisy by Marc Jacobs. Also a large shout out to my BFF Steph! She done got herself engaged and has a wonderfully large pretty ring to prove it. Hooray it's summer!!! Also I broke up with pants. It's that time of year when as soon as I get home, my pants come off. It's fantastic. SO I guess you could say that I break up with pants everyday when I get home. Either way you get the idea that me and pants aren't getting along, not that we ever do. That is all.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

What's That Smell?!

Today I walked around Christensen's Department store and tried on their perfume. Well just one. One called Daisy by Marc Jacobs. I smell wonderful. I wish I owned a bottle but it was super expensive and really anything that cost more than 2 dollars is out of my budget. I just can't justify spending almost 60 bucks on a bottle of perfume that I will love and wear everyday and make anyone I walk past very happy. It's just too much right?? Maybe not. I think my get a wig fund that turned into a buy prints at the library fund and then into an over priced vending machine snack fund is now going to be a get Shauntae Daisy by Marc Jacobs perfume fund. This may actually be attainable. Sweet. I wish you guys could smell me right now.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Blue Jello Princess

As most of you don't know, I am a lunch lady at the nanny children's school. I go for two hours every day to sweep floors and wipe down tables. Today I was doing my duties when a small kindergärtner approached me. She motioned for me to stoop down to her level, and I did. Then with she cupped my face with her sticky blue Jello hands, looked me straight in the eyes and said "It's so nice to have a pretty lunch lady." I giggled and said "Thank you." and went about my duties. It was so adorable. What a wonderful less than part time job I have.