Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Hot Dogs and Henry Kissinger

Life is funny to me. Life as a girl is even funnier to me. Why are we so moody? Really does anyone know why I can go from singing There is Sunshine in my Soul one minute and an hour later I feel like punching some unfortunate soul in the stomach? Its only the 3rd day of school and that's fine, but I need to get my books. Books are damn expensive and I hate spending 150 dollars that I could spend on a fantastic wig on a math book. However I did enjoy my morning after class at Barnes and Noble getting a Henry Kissinger book I need for history. So I was feeling great, until I got a whiff of my hands. They smell like hot dogs for some unexplained reason. This not only made me sick to my stomach but also turned my mood from skipping in a field of daisies to complete annoyance at the existence of other human beings in my sight. This usually means 2 things, I either need food, or I will soon need some Advil for my cramps. I am going to try the food route and if that doesn't work then chocolate. If there is still no relief from my moods, everyone had better watch out, I am likely to erupt with crying or screaming or maybe even uncontrollable laughter. Damn I love hate being a human and a woman.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Reunited and It feels SOOO Good

You know those days when everything is going so fantastic? You feel invincible and extremely hopeful and so incredibly blessed. Well even though it is a Monday, I feel like that today. I woke up and cursed the 7 o'clock hour, got the kids off to school and came home to hear Mr. Chris LeDoux on my Ipod. That is when the perma smile tattooed itself on my face. I showered and got ready for my first day of classes. Not really looking forward to it and the crowds and mayhem that I knew awaited me at the school. As luck would have it, I found a great parking place, ran into several friends, and sat down in history class. My teacher is real short and has the funniest haircut, but he knows so much about history, all during class, I was so excited I could hardly breathe. When it was over, I was still hyperventilating and I am real anxious to go again. Then this afternoon I talked for 2 hours with an old roommate and it felt great. When we first met, we became instant friends but after a couple of years living together, had sort of a falling out. Today we reconnected and it feels great. We laughed, cried, and I am just so happy about it. I really miss her and I feel sorta sad about it for some reason, but I was really glad for the chance to clear the air and be friends again. She's real funny and suggested I try eHarmony after I told her about my recent bad date. Hahaha I have far too much pride for that. Anyway, my life is great and no one can knock me down today. I love days like this and I am real excited for this new school year.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Well I made it 23 years

I have made it 23 years without having a bad date, it was bound to happen eventually. As far as I can remember, I have never had a date as dull and pointless as the one I went on last night. I have know this kid for a while now and we have been sort of friends, we lost track of each other and recently ran into each other again. Well I never had a lot to say to him when we were friends beyond the casual polite conversation so I already suspected the date would be fairly lame. It went like this, he picked me up. I opened the door and he was off, like speed walking to his car, no hey how are you, are you ready, who are these kids you have hanging on you? None of that, just speed walking, the entire hour and a half (yep that is how long it lasted) I felt like we were speed walking. Dinner, miniature golf, scooter ride, in an hour and a half. Ridiculous for so many reasons, I hate mini golf as much as I hate regular sized golf, he wore clothes that looked like he had just mowed the lawn in (I didn't really want to go anyway and I have some sort of cold, so I didn't try none too hard either but at least I was clean) and then we start talking politics. Any of you who know me at all or have even looked at my facebook, know that politics are important and fun to me. Well he voted for Obama, and told me that he got his political info from MTV. com. That is when I started questioning his intellect and naturally gave him my $1.25 about my political views. So then I was like k well can you take me home, I don't feel well. And that was it, my first worst date experience. Hahahahaha I find it to be real funny and I think well at least I was in bed early still. I am actually real glad it didn't last very long.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Oh Hey Congress

Hey congress I found something you may want to read during your little break. Its your job description. It can be found in the Constitution, maybe you've heard of it. Now I realize that most of you have not read it and would need lawyers to help you understand it so I have used a dumbed down version here, that I am sure most of you will still need lawyers to help you understand. I'll try my best to help you understand and when you start to feel confused, just take a deep breath and re-read it til it all makes sense OK? OK here we go then.

As members of Congress, your powers are:

To lay and collect taxes (something I know you understand all too well so I won't explain this)

To pay debt (Wait, stop for a minute and read that again. It says to pay debt, Not to create massive amounts of it)

To provide for the common defense and general welfare of the U.S. ( This will be hard for you liberals and too many of you republicans but like I said take a deep breath and read it again. This does NOT mean give people cars, health care, schooling, or digital T. V.. It means something more along the lines of make our country safe, and keep yourselves(government) and others who would want to hinder our progress out of our way so that we may work, learn, progress, and provide for ourselves to attain our own version of the American dream. This is really really tough for you politicians to understand, I know. This also DOES NOT mean steal from Americans to give to other Americans, that's called Marxism, not democracy.)

To borrow money (but remember that you will have to pay this debt so you are encouraged NOT to borrow money, especially from other countries and countries that do not have our (the U.S.) best interest at heart as this makes us vulnerable and goes against providing for the common defense and general welfare.)

To regulate commerce with foreign nations and among the states (this just means enough regulations to make us safe but not so many as to make it impossible to trade or puts all the control in government hands. America can not prosper and grow when our own government inhibits fair and easy trade)

To establish uniform rules of naturalization (this means making people not born in the U. S. citizens, however, this does not mean granting amnesty to millions of illegals.)

To coin money (this does not mean print money until it is worth nothing)

To set up lower federal courts

To declare war (To declare war on nations that are at war with us, not to declare war on the citizens of the U. S. that disagree with the actions of government.)

To raise and support an army and navy ( Now again this is hard for the liberals, but this is the exact opposite of cutting defense budgets and again when you do this it goes against providing for the common defense)

To provide for calling out the State militia to carry out the laws of the U. S., put down rebellion, and repel invasion ( could this include the invasion of millions of illegal immigrants?)

To govern an area not exceeding 10 miles square of the capitol of the U.S. (meaning Washington D. C.), and to govern forts, arsenals, dockyards, and other "needful buildings" ( This means leave States rights to the States, and this ten square miles does not include the automobile, banking, or health care industries)

To admit new states to the Union (Mexico is not a state)

To make rules and regulations for U. S. territories (Territories are not industries)

To "make all laws which shall be necessary and proper for carrying into execution the foregoing powers" (Most laws you(Congress) make are not proper and definitely not necessary and therefore they should not be passed.)

Now again, I realize that you are politicians and you will need some help understanding all this, but take heart, we, your constituents (that means the people who voted for you), will let you know what we want. If you are still having a real hard time understanding it and what your voters want, that's OK, take heart, we'll just get rid of you when your term is up. Again I hope you have a nice recess, and that you and your lawyers can get this knowing and understanding the Constitution and your role in government thing all worked out. If you feel you still need more help, you can find me at my local tea parties, town hall meetings, and on the phone, Internets, or in the mail. I'll be the one letting you know I am mad as hell about what Congress and the President are doing, and how exactly I think you should stay out of it. I won't however being wearing swastika's or toting a Tommy gun with my other mob mafia members.

Monday, August 17, 2009

My One True Love

I have found him! My one true love. His name you ask? Dierks Bentley. I am in love with Dierks Bentley and I know that we are meant to be together. How do I know this? Well I heard his new single "I want to make you close your eyes" and I just knew he was singing to and about me. I seriously have a celebrity crush on him. Hahaha I know I am ridiculous. I keep listening to it over and over. This songs gives me butterflies in my tummy like I have a crush on someone when I don't. This song is why I love country boys. Seriously, Dierks, will you marry me? 97 percent of this day will now be wasted on daydreaming about love.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Thats Not My Name

For some time now I have been trying to get people to call me Tae. My family calls me Tae and I have quite enjoyed it so I wanted the world to call me Tae. I thought if whenever I met new people, I would introduce myself as Tae and eventually almost everyone I knew would call me that but after about two introductions I forgot about this plan. Shauntae is a perfectly lovely name and I have enjoyed it but sometimes I just like a little change. For a while, I tried to get everyone to address me as Shauntae Marie. Marie, which is my middle name, just gives Shauntae a very regal and distinguished air, is what I would try to explain to people, but it never caught on. So everyone call me Shauntae, that's fine, but I am going to refer to myself as Tae and maybe sometimes Pearl, Margaret, and or Kate (all names that I have at one point tried to be called). On another note, I was at the mall Saturday and stopped in to the wig shop to see what they had to offer. Turns out, they had a great deal to offer me. This lovely wig has captured
my heart but my stupid brain tells me I can not justify spending 170 dollars on it, so my heart and I have been coming up with ways to earn wig money. If any of you would like to donate a dollar to the "make Tae a princess" fund, feel free to contact me via FB or my blog. Hahaha I am not begging for donations OK but I really need this fake hair or tips on how to make my own hair grow faster. Either will be greatly appreciated. Oh it makes my heart ill that I woke up this morning and my hair is still super short.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

So Great

Today I have been thinking about things that I think are so great. First, my best friend Steph and her tips on how to get the attention of gentleman. She is so great to offer me lines to use like "I got some new panties, do you want to see them?" I love her to death and pieces. I am greatly looking forward to this weekend. Second going to play date in the park with no kids. That is so great, I get to visit with the moms and am never bothered with children covered in blood from scratching each other. It will not be as fun when school starts and I'll be learning about history on Tuesday afternoons instead of breast feeding and child birth and other things I dare not mention. Third, ABDC, I love Americas Best Dance Crew. I love trying to mimic the moves I see and failing completely while the children laugh at the sight of me. I am especially excited about this new season and a certain crew called Vogue Evolution, made up of 3 thin, and 1 fat black, gay men and 1 transgendered black he-she. They are the greatest. How I feel about them is best described by my Steph when she said "I loved them so much I almost peed my pants." You should all youtube them or something, you're in for a real treat. Another thing that's great, I have not heard from Brad since I yelled at him. THIS particular thing fills me with intense joy. The last great thing that I will mention is the cleverness of me. In this blog, whenever I am going to speak of someone, I say something to the effect of "I'll call him/her this" and supposedly make up a name. The truth is, I always use their real name. Hahaha maybe you all knew this already but in my mind it's a fun little game I play and I think I am so clever and funny.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Uh Yes it Matters

Recently I was on the phone with a friend I'll call Brad. I find him to be very clingy and more than slightly annoying, so I was far past ready to get off the phone with him when I said "Look I have to go I need to read this article about the Health Care trash." He hates that I read and that I care about our country and how much it has gone down the toilet, so he says to me " It's not going to change anything. It doesn't even matter." Those fateful words got him the tongue lashing of his life. It was one of those moments that they would play out on T. V. in slow motion. This is what I had to say to Bradley: it doesn't matter? It doesn't matter? Well maybe it would matter to you and the rest of America if you actually knew what was at risk and what you would be paying for. I'll inform you infact. You will not be able to choose your own health care plan and in fact if you don't pay into Obama's plan, YOU will be fined several hundred dollars a year. If you already have a private health plan, you will not be allowed to keep it. Lets say you are diagnosed with advanced stage cancer and your survival rate it low, the government, not your doctors, will decide if you are worth giving treatment to or not. Or maybe when you are 80 and you need a new heart or hip, well that's too damn bad because you're too old to deserve care. No matter how healthy you are otherwise, or how much you really want to live, you are not worth the cost of surgery so we'll just give you a pain pill til you die. And you, being educated only by the main stream media, believe that I am exaggerating and being overly dramatic. Well Brad how about you do some reading of your own read the main stream articles and maybe some not so main stream stuff, you will see everywhere that what I say is true. Then maybe you can take some action and call some senators and do something. In which he replies "well that wouldn't matter either, they do what they want anyway." Oh really Brad? Those words again? Brad I don't know if you have read the constitution or if you know how this country works, but Congress works for us. The problem we have is that too many of us Americans have forgotten that so we just sit back and let them make the choices they want, to get what they want. But Brad that's not how it should work and not how it would work if people would wake up and educate themselves. Congress works for us. If we are not happy with what they are doing, we let them know hey we are you constituents and you work for us, if you want to be reelected you need to fix it or stop trying to fix it. That is how it works and I am so sick of you and people our age not knowing or caring about the issues. If you want that kind of health care then take yourself and all of your uneducated- I-want- something- for- nothing- friends and move to Canada. You don't even deserve to be Americans. And I have more to say on this but I have to go now. I love informing people when they are wrong.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

My Life is Amazing

I love birthday week. I love watching Gilmore Girls every morning at 9, I love my new wings necklace, I love eating a million cupcakes, I love my sisters coming to play with me today and I am really going to love the girls night that is in store. First on the agenda: showing my sisters how I pretend to know how to skim board at the river, then shower and dinner, followed with Ross and Barnes and Noble. We will then top the evening off with zebra toes and Lord of the Dance. I wanted to watch Gigi but it was gone from the library (and I am cheap so I don't like to rent movies when I can get them for free at the library) so I thought Lord of the Dance would be a good replacement but my sisters will probably hate me for it. I think it is going to be one humdinger of a girls night and I can't wait. The BEST part is they are spending the night! I convinced them to stay the night and I love it. My life is amazing. I love love, I love being in love and I am in love with this week.

Monday, August 3, 2009

Happy 23 to Me! Birthday Week To Do List

I love birthdays, especially mine. This Thursday is my birthday and to celebrate I have compiled a list of what I wish to do (in no particular order) this week and all of Birthday month!

1: watch an episode of Gilmore Girls everyday
2: enjoy a chocolate raspberry cupcake at 25 Main
3: a long bike ride on my pretty pink cruiser
4: paint my toenails like a Zebra and paint my nails black
5: fly my mini kite
6: play in the river
7: take a nap
8: play with my sisters on Wednesday
9: spend at least an hour at Ross looking at the knick knacks
10: eat my favorite meal at Chili's
11: purchase a necklace with wing charms on it
12: watch Beauty and the Beast
13: refuse to make my bed at least one day this week
14: make sloppy Joe's at eat them
15: go to pirate island pizza and only speak pirate, maybe even ask for a job application
16: relax on the porch swing everyday
17: go to Barnes and noble to get any book I want and purchase it with no guilt of spending money
18: have breakfast for dinner
19: watch the movie Gigi
20: read my book that I bought at Barnes and Noble
21: do my best to build an extensive nail polish collection
22: also do my best to find a boy to have a birthday snogging session
And last but most certainly not least . . .
23: ride the hydrotube at the city pool

I feel real good about my birthday month goals.