Compassion seems to be at the forefront of all my thoughts. I am seeing "Be gentle, I am hurting" signs everywhere I look. These are not real signs, but lately I seem to be seeing the pain in everyone's face. I can see it in my exes face every time I see him stumbling around. It says "Be gentle with me. I'm losing my father to brain cancer and I'm struggling to control my own addictions." My heart aches for him and I wish desperately that I could take that pain from him. Somehow though, it all turns to anger, and bitterness and instead of showing love and compassion, I spout hurtful words and venomous stares. Instead of offering comfort, I complain that he can't see past his own pain to recognize that others are hurting too, more specifically that I am hurting.
I see this man every day and it's not easy. I keep begging for a way out. Please Lord I can't take anymore, show me the way out. And the answer, or feeling that I keep getting is "you're not done, he needs your love." To which I usually reply, "I have no more love to give him." "My love, you have more love to give than most people."
But the love and comfort I want to give seems to get lost in translation. How do you love the unlovely?
1 comment:
CRAP Tae that made me cry. My only thought is, write ten nice things about him every time you hate him. Otherwise, heart break just sucks and it is hard not to just walk away flipping him off as you go. Good luck, I will pray for you and him.
Love ya
wreaclas
when I saw that I thought it said wear class, Just dress like Audrey every day, maybe dressing like class will make you feel classy which will brighten your day, which will make you not scowl so much. Just a thought
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