This is Me; Butt Naked (Hypothetically Speaking)

I have come to realize that I keep looking for God in the wrong places. More I keep looking for Him to communicate with me in the wrong ways. This morning I had an epiphany of sorts, although it didn't really feel like a stop me in my tracks I finally get it get it sort of epiphany. It was more of a passing thought that said "ok I see now" and then another thought "why didn't I notice that earlier? What I have I missed by looking in the wrong places?" The actual realization didn't shake me to my core but the implications will change my life forever. I am a reader. I love reading and always have so it makes sense that God would speak to me through the writing of other and the writing of myself.

God moves me in many ways. Through music, colors, nature and the love of others, I see and feel God. But when I'm reading,and most of the times it doesn't even matter what it is I'm reading, I hear God speaking to my heart and soul. The answers I am looking for are suddenly understood.

The truth is, I am broken and hurting and lost. And I keep begging God for understanding and comfort. And I kept looking for Him to show His love for me by leaving flowers on my doorstep, as strange as that sounds. And then it hit me "you're a writer, naturally I will speak to you through writing." And then I had this strange, twilight-zoney experience of all the words from books and blogs that have brought me healing. And of all the loved ones that brought those words to my life. It first started with a recommendation from a friend to read a book called "Wild at Heart." I think this friends intentions in me reading it were really to help understand men, which it did but more over, it helped me understand the role of God as a father and man in my life. Wild at Heart brought healing to my soul and lead me to another book called "Captivating" that brought even more healing to my soul. And it continued to spiral. Friends keep recommending books that bring comfort and healing and bring me closer in my relationship to God.

I have something to offer this world. And I think that it has something to do with my words.