So Hungry

It's Saturday morning, I'm tired, I don't feel well, and I am incredibly hungry. Laying here, I came up with the brilliant idea of Googling "What to eat for breakfast". I don't know what I was expecting but I was hoping for a long list of things to eat for breakfast. Instead I got a long list of websites telling me how important it is to eat breakfast. I now realize that what I want from Google is for them to send me a handsome man with french toast and eggs to my bedroom. Not asking for the moon.

MY Brain is a Mushy Grape Popsicle

Ok, it is official. I have lost my brain. I suffer from what I like to call "Toomuchsunitis" pronounced (too much sun it is). Meaning too much sun is the problem. In the last 3 hours I have, hit my head on a toilet, stuck my hand into a moving ceiling fan, tripped down the stairs, tripped going up the stairs, and spilled hot tea on me while trying to drink it in bed. Why on Earth would I try to drink tea while laying down?!?! There are no other explanations for it. I must be that I spend too much time in the sun. (Ha when I first wrote that, I accidentally put sin. I spend too much time in the sin, which may also be part of the problem). Summer brain. I have turned my brain into a summer brain. I am actually quite pleased with this. Why? Because usually it takes me clear till June to get summer brain. And it's only the middle of May!! Hooray for summer.

I Can't Live Without You!!!

There are a few things that I can't live without. They are as follows:
Sugar. I have tried to cut back the amount of sugar I intake and it just hate it. I love the amount of sugar I can stand and it tastes so delicious. Why should I not eat so much of it? It doesn't even make sense.
Also I can not live without sunshine. I am that person that goes crazy during a week of rain. I cry. I get mad. I throw things. And then the sun is back and I giggle for a week straight.
Lotion. I am OCD about putting lotion on. I have to have it in the morning, at night, after showers, during swimming, and after every time I wash my hands. I MUST have it or my skin hurts and feels like it is going to die.
And flirting. If I don't bat my eyes at some cute boy at least once a day, I just feel like I could fall to pieces. It's fun and funny and makes me giggle inside. Whenever I feel like I haven't had my flirt fix for a while, I go to the mall. Why? Well because Zumiez has these 2 boys that work there and they always flirt with me. They flirt with everyone I know and that's fine. I just like, no love, that I can go there anytime to get my flirt on. And I don't even have to look cute cause it's Zumiez. So I can walk in there with pj's on and uncombed hair and all I have to do it use words like "dude" and "gnarly". I love to flirt.

Oh Alex

Alex is sometimes a very sweet boy and he has funny ways. This morning he says "I want a pb and j for breakfast" I say "ok go ahead and make one" Alex says "ok I will."
A few minutes later Alex says "Where's the pb and where's the j." "Well the j is usually in the fridge and the pb is in the pantry." "Oh ok, I get it."
After a few minutes he says "I still can't find the pb!!" "It's on the third shelf" "Oooh I didn't know that." "Sorry I thought you would see it." And then he says "No no Shauntae, it's ok. It's ok. I have it now, everything will be alright and I get to hae pb and j for breakfast." Six year olds are funny.

Either Way

Some one told me that the last story I told is not true. That it's sort of like an urban legend. I am choosing to believe that it is true. It's a hilarious story. And either way, true or not, it made me laugh till I almost peed.

A Troll?? Where? What?

Tonight I went to see a comedian, a comedian called Brian Regan. He was funny, very funny. My body hurts from laughing so much kind of funny. But something even more funny than that is this story I am about to tell you. Now it is a story that comes from a friend of a friend. This friend of a friend of a friend of a friend has an autistic son. This son, from what I understand, is about 16 years old. The son calls his mother at work "Mom I caught a troll. It's in my closet." Mom says "Oh ok that's great. I'm really busy, I'll call you later" Mom hangs up and thinks nothing of it. Son calls mom back a few minutes later "Mom I caught a troll. It's in my closet. I'm feeding it skittles" Mom hangs up again and starts to wonder. Son calls again and Mom decides to go home. She walks into Son's room and there is a chair propped against the closet door, with a bag of skittles on the floor. And some thing is banging on the inside of the door. The mom moves the chair and opens the door to find A MIDGET!!! The son had locked a Jehovah Witness midget missionary in the closet. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I need to meet this boy.

Oh Hello

Hello, I feel like it's been a long time since we've talked. I'm doing great, thank you. And yourself? Oh great. Well my crush sort of gave me a little broken heart so that sucks but I have been productive in a real major way. I mowed the lawn, mopped the floors, did the laundry, read a book, and a made an appointment to have my hair trimmed. I am pretty excited about that last part cause this mullet is OUT OF CONTROL. Let's see what else. I enjoyed the State GOP convention, and watched Bob
Bennett be released with a vote of thanks. Well that part is not true, many of the delegates started singing "nah nah nah nah hey hey hey goodbye" you know. Also I am getting excited for Tennessee and I started this supplement thing that is really clearing me out. Even through my face, I have zits that belong in an art gallery. I'm going to see Brian Regan tonight, this I feel happy about cause I love to laugh. I love to laugh, loud and strong and clear. Also I still love Daisy by Marc Jacobs. Also a large shout out to my BFF Steph! She done got herself engaged and has a wonderfully large pretty ring to prove it. Hooray it's summer!!! Also I broke up with pants. It's that time of year when as soon as I get home, my pants come off. It's fantastic. SO I guess you could say that I break up with pants everyday when I get home. Either way you get the idea that me and pants aren't getting along, not that we ever do. That is all.

What's That Smell?!

Today I walked around Christensen's Department store and tried on their perfume. Well just one. One called Daisy by Marc Jacobs. I smell wonderful. I wish I owned a bottle but it was super expensive and really anything that cost more than 2 dollars is out of my budget. I just can't justify spending almost 60 bucks on a bottle of perfume that I will love and wear everyday and make anyone I walk past very happy. It's just too much right?? Maybe not. I think my get a wig fund that turned into a buy prints at the library fund and then into an over priced vending machine snack fund is now going to be a get Shauntae Daisy by Marc Jacobs perfume fund. This may actually be attainable. Sweet. I wish you guys could smell me right now.

Blue Jello Princess

As most of you don't know, I am a lunch lady at the nanny children's school. I go for two hours every day to sweep floors and wipe down tables. Today I was doing my duties when a small kindergärtner approached me. She motioned for me to stoop down to her level, and I did. Then with she cupped my face with her sticky blue Jello hands, looked me straight in the eyes and said "It's so nice to have a pretty lunch lady." I giggled and said "Thank you." and went about my duties. It was so adorable. What a wonderful less than part time job I have.