My Hero

So this semester I have a night class, my first night class ever. And recently this conversation took place:

Me: Are you worried about me walking across campus after dark?

BF: Hmm now that you mention it, yes.

Me: Really?

BF: We're going to need to get you some sharp pencils.

Me: I prefer writing with pens

BF: Not for writing, you have to keep them sharp so you can stab people with them

Me: I am going to protect myself with sharp pencils?

BF: I once saw a man stab a man with a regular old spoon

Me: No you didn't

BF: yes I did, it was on a movie

Me: well should I carry spoons with me?

BF: No this is what we are going to do, you are not going to eat dinner. That ought to be enough to scare anyone off. And we'll send pencils just in case.

Me: Good plan. Thank you for keeping me safe

BF: It's what I do babe, I love you

My revised school supply list:

paper
pencils (for writing)
pencils (for stabbing)
spoons (for eating with)
spoons (for stabbing with)
jar of peanut butter